If You Feel Confused, Doubtful, or Stuck — Start Here.

If you’ve found this page, something probably doesn’t feel right.

Maybe you:

• Replay conversations constantly

• Feel responsible for someone else’s emotions

• Doubt your memory after arguments

• Feel bonded to someone who repeatedly hurts you

• Can’t explain why you’re still attached

That confusion is not weakness.
It is often the result of psychological manipulation.

Narcissistic abuse creates cognitive dissonance — a state where your lived experience and the other person’s version of reality don’t match.

This page will give you clarity and direction.

Take this one step at a time.

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Step 1: Recognise the Pattern

Before you blame yourself, understand the behaviour.

Common patterns include:

• Gaslighting

• Blame shifting

• Silent treatment

• Intermittent reinforcement

• Emotional withdrawal

If you are unsure what gaslighting looks like, start here:

Gaslighting Signs
https://thenarcslayer.com/gaslighting-signs/

If you want a broader overview of how these behaviours fit together, read:

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
https://thenarcslayer.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery/

Awareness reduces self-blame.

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Step 2: Understand the Trauma Bond

You may know the relationship is harmful — yet still feel attached.

This is not weakness.

It is often a trauma bond created through cycles of reward and punishment.

Learn how trauma bonds form and how to break them safely:

Trauma Bond Recovery
https://thenarcslayer.com/trauma-bond-recovery/

Understanding this mechanism removes shame and restores perspective.

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Step 3: Stabilise Yourself Before Big Decisions

You do not need to make dramatic moves immediately.

First, stabilise.

This may involve:

• Reducing reactive engagement

• Setting small boundaries

• Strengthening emotional regulation

• Seeking trauma-informed support

Helpful resources:

Grey Rock Method
https://thenarcslayer.com/grey-rock-method/

Boundary Basics
https://thenarcslayer.com/boundary-basics/

Understanding Reactive Abuse
https://thenarcslayer.com/reactive-abuse/

Stability protects you from acting out of panic.

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Step 4: Decide Your Next Move Safely

When you feel clearer, you can decide:

• Strengthen boundaries

• Move to low contact

• Go no contact

• Seek professional support

If you are considering distance, read:

No Contact Guide
https://thenarcslayer.com/no-contact-guide/

There is no universal answer. Your safety and capacity matter.

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The Recovery Path

Healing from narcissistic abuse usually moves through stages:

1.  Awareness

2.  Stabilisation

3.  Detachment

4.  Identity Reconstruction

You don’t need to complete all of them today.

You just need the next step.

For the full framework, return to:

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
https://thenarcslayer.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery/

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You Are Not Crazy

If your thoughts feel foggy, that makes sense.

If you feel ashamed, that makes sense.

If you still love them, that makes sense.

Psychological manipulation is designed to create confusion and attachment.

Clarity takes time.

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Next Steps

If you’re overwhelmed, start with:

Gaslighting Signs
https://thenarcslayer.com/gaslighting-signs/

If attachment is the hardest part:

Trauma Bond Recovery
https://thenarcslayer.com/trauma-bond-recovery/

If you want the full recovery roadmap:

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
https://thenarcslayer.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery/

You don’t have to untangle this alone.