The Tools Narcissists Use to Hide Their Deception, Lies, and Cheating

Mar 29, 2025 | Narcissistic Abuse, safety, Uncategorized

narcissistic abuse survival and recovery

The Tools Narcissists Use to Hide Their Deception, Lies, and Cheating

Introduction

Narcissists are masters of deception, using a combination of technology, manipulation tactics, and behavioral strategies to conceal their lies and cheating. Whether in a romantic relationship, business setting, or social environment, they will go to great lengths to avoid being exposed.

Understanding the tools they use can help you identify red flags and protect yourself from being manipulated. This article explores the apps, spyware, internet tactics, and behaviors narcissists use to cover their tracks and maintain control over their victims.

Digital Tools Narcissists Use to Hide Their Lies

1. Secret Messaging Apps

Narcissists who cheat or engage in secretive activities often use messaging apps designed to hide conversations. These apps provide disappearing messages, encrypted chats, and hidden features that make it difficult for their partners or victims to discover the truth.

Common Apps Used:

  • WhatsApp (end-to-end encryption, disappearing messages)

  • Telegram (self-destructing messages, secret chats)

  • Signal (secure messaging with auto-delete options)

  • Vault Apps (such as Calculator+, which disguises chats as a calculator app)

These tools allow narcissists to communicate with others while making it seem like nothing suspicious is happening. Read more about how disappearing messages work.

2. Multiple Social Media and Fake Accounts

Narcissists may maintain multiple social media profiles to deceive their partners and manipulate different people. They often:

  • Use burner accounts to flirt or communicate with new targets.

  • Have a “clean” public account that shows a perfect image while using secret accounts for cheating.

  • Block certain people from viewing their stories or posts to control their narrative.

They might also use Facebook’s “restricted list” feature to hide updates from specific people while appearing as if they haven’t blocked them. Learn how fake social media accounts are used for deception.

3. Hidden Phone Features and Apps

Many smartphones come with features that can be exploited for deception. Narcissists may use:

  • Private browsing mode (Incognito mode) to prevent a history trail.

  • Dual SIM cards or burner phones to maintain secret relationships.

  • App lockers that require a password to access certain apps or conversations.

  • Google Voice or Skype numbers to communicate without using their real phone number.

These tools help them maintain multiple relationships or lie about their activities without leaving evidence behind.

Spyware and Surveillance Tools

4. Keyloggers and Spyware

Some narcissists take control to an extreme level by secretly installing spyware or keyloggers on their partner’s devices. These tools allow them to:

  • Read messages and emails.

  • Monitor browsing history.

  • Track locations through GPS.

  • Eavesdrop on conversations.

Popular spyware tools include FlexiSPY, mSpy, and Hoverwatch, which can be used to monitor a victim’s activity without their knowledge. Find out more about how spyware invades privacy.

5. Tracking Devices and GPS Manipulation

A narcissist may use tracking devices to know where their partner is at all times. This can include:

  • AirTags or Tile trackers placed in a partner’s bag or car.

  • Shared location services like Find My iPhone or Google Maps location sharing.

  • Fake GPS apps to lie about their own whereabouts.

These tools help them create a false sense of security while continuing their deception.

Internet Tactics for Hiding Their Tracks

6. Incognito Mode and VPNs

To hide their online activities, narcissists often use:

  • Incognito mode to prevent browser history from being saved.

  • VPN services to mask their IP address and access sites without being traced.

  • Proxy servers to appear as if they are browsing from another location.

This makes it harder for their partner to discover suspicious online activities.

7. Disposable Email Addresses

A narcissist may create multiple email accounts to register on dating sites or communicate with secret contacts. Services like ProtonMail, Temp-Mail, and Guerilla Mail allow them to send and receive emails without leaving a permanent record.

8. Hiding Transactions and Financial Activity

To cover up financial deception, narcissists may:

  • Use cryptocurrency for untraceable transactions.

  • Withdraw small amounts of cash over time to avoid suspicion.

  • Use prepaid debit cards or PayPal accounts under fake names.

  • Create bogus business transactions to justify unusual spending.

These tactics help them fund secret affairs, gifts for other partners, or maintain a hidden life without raising red flags.

Behavioral Tactics to Avoid Detection

9. Gaslighting and Denial

When confronted, narcissists rely on psychological manipulation to make you doubt what you’ve seen or heard. They may:

  • Deny everything, even when presented with evidence.

  • Accuse you of being paranoid or overly suspicious.

  • Twist the story to make themselves the victim.

  • Minimize their actions, saying things like “It was just a joke” or “You’re overreacting.”

This leaves you questioning your own reality, making it harder to hold them accountable.

10. Creating Fake Alibis and Using Friends

To cover their tracks, narcissists often:

  • Ask friends to lie for them (“Tell her I was with you last night.”)

  • Stage fake evidence (sending texts that say, “Just working late” while they’re on a date with someone else).

  • Blame others (“That wasn’t me; someone must have hacked my account.”)

By crafting a believable story, they make it difficult to prove their deception.

11. Stonewalling and Deflection

If they feel they are close to being exposed, narcissists will:

  • Refuse to discuss the issue.

  • Change the subject.

  • Accuse you of being controlling.

This tactic ensures that the conversation never focuses on their actions but instead turns into an argument about something unrelated.

Protecting Yourself from a Deceptive Narcissist

If you suspect you’re dealing with a narcissist who is hiding their deception, consider these steps:

  • Do not openly confront them until you have solid proof.

  • Secure your own devices (change passwords, enable two-factor authentication).

  • Check for spyware on your phone and laptop.

  • Avoid sharing your location or sensitive information.

  • Seek support from a trusted friend, therapist, or support group.

  • Consider leaving the relationship if deception is persistent.

Conclusion

Narcissists are highly skilled at deception and will use any tool available to maintain control and avoid exposure. From secret messaging apps and tracking devices to psychological manipulation, they go to great lengths to protect their lies.

By recognizing these red flags, you can take proactive steps to safeguard yourself and break free from their toxic cycle. Remember, the best defense is awareness—stay informed and trust your instincts.

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