So, You’re in a Relationship with a Narcissist Who Lies and Cheats? Read on to learn more…

Introduction

Discovering that you’re in a relationship with a narcissist who repeatedly lies, cheats, and manipulates can be devastating. The realization often comes with deep emotional turmoil, self-doubt, and confusion. However, the most crucial step is deciding what to do next.

This article explores the immediate actions to take, the emotional and psychological challenges that come with such relationships, and the difficult choices you may face—whether to forgive, walk away, or remain in denial. It also highlights the dangers of calling out a narcissist and how to protect yourself if you decide to leave.

The First Step: Acknowledge the Truth

Many people, upon discovering their partner’s unfaithfulness, deception, and narcissistic traits, struggle with denial. Accepting that someone you love is incapable of true loyalty or empathy is painful. However, staying in denial only prolongs the suffering and keeps you trapped in a toxic cycle.

Consequences of Denial

Loss of self-worth: Continually justifying a narcissist’s behavior erodes your self-esteem and sense of self.
Emotional exhaustion: The repeated cycle of hope, betrayal, and emotional manipulation drains your mental and physical energy.
Increased control by the narcissist: The longer you tolerate deception, the more power they have over you.
Wasted time and opportunities: Every moment spent hoping for change is time lost on personal growth and healthier relationships.

If you catch yourself making excuses for their actions—such as blaming stress, childhood trauma, or external circumstances—pause and ask yourself: Would I accept this behavior from a friend? If the answer is no, then why tolerate it from a partner?

Prioritize Your Well-Being

Your mental, emotional, and physical health should be your top priority. Narcissistic partners thrive on breaking down your confidence and making you doubt your reality.

Self-Care Strategies

Establish a daily routine: Stability in your life helps counter the emotional chaos they create.
Engage in therapy or self-reflection: Talking to a therapist can help you regain clarity and rebuild self-worth.
Practice self-compassion: Remind yourself that their behavior is about them, not your worthiness.

By focusing on self-care, you slowly regain the strength to make rational decisions rather than emotional ones dictated by their manipulation.

Set and Enforce Boundaries

Narcissists hate boundaries because they limit their control. However, setting clear boundaries is crucial in protecting yourself.

How to Set Effective Boundaries

Be direct and firm: Clearly state what behavior you will no longer tolerate. Example: “If I find out you’ve lied again, I will leave.”
Expect pushback: Narcissists will test your limits. Stay firm.
Follow through on consequences: Empty threats only reinforce their behavior.

Dangers of Calling Out a Narcissist

Be aware that narcissists react poorly to being confronted. Calling them out may lead to:

Rage and retaliation: They may lash out verbally, emotionally, or even physically.
Smear campaigns: They might spread lies about you to friends, family, or even your workplace.
Love-bombing: In an attempt to regain control, they may shower you with attention and promises they’ll change—only to revert to their old ways.

If you fear their reaction, consider a gradual disengagement strategy rather than direct confrontation.

Seek Support

Isolation is one of the narcissist’s strongest weapons. They want you to depend on them alone. Breaking free starts with rebuilding your support system.

Who to Turn To

Trusted friends and family: Confide in those who will offer support without judgment.
Support groups: Many online and in-person communities offer valuable advice from those who have been through similar experiences.
Therapists specializing in narcissistic abuse: They can provide specific coping strategies tailored to your situation.

Document Their Behavior

If you anticipate a messy breakup, legal battles, or gaslighting attempts, keeping records is crucial.

How to Document Effectively

Keep a journal: Record instances of lying, cheating, manipulation, and abusive behavior.
Save texts and emails: If they try to deny their actions later, you’ll have proof.
Talk to witnesses: If friends or family have observed their behavior, their perspective could be valuable.

This documentation may also be helpful if you need legal protection, such as a restraining order.

Forgive, Move On, or Stay Stuck?

One of the hardest choices you’ll face is whether to forgive and stay, leave and move on, or remain in limbo.

Choosing to Forgive

Some people choose to forgive in hopes that their partner will change. However, narcissists rarely change unless forced by extreme consequences. Forgiveness without accountability allows them to continue their behavior.

Choosing to Move On

Leaving a narcissistic relationship is difficult but often the healthiest choice. If you choose to leave:

Have a safety plan: Ensure you have somewhere to go if you fear retaliation.
Go no-contact if possible: Cutting off communication helps break their hold over you.
Prepare for their attempts to reel you back in: They may beg, cry, or promise to change—don’t fall for it.

Choosing to Stay Stuck

Some people choose to stay in the relationship, unable to fully accept the truth. This often leads to:

Chronic emotional distress
Increased self-doubt and low self-esteem
A cycle of endless betrayals and broken promises

Remaining in denial only prolongs the inevitable and makes breaking free even harder later.

Protect Yourself If You Decide to Leave

Leaving a narcissist—especially one prone to deceit and cheating—can be dangerous. Protect yourself by:

Consulting a lawyer if you’re married or share assets.
Changing passwords and securing finances to prevent them from accessing your personal information.
Blocking them on all platforms to avoid manipulation and hoovering attempts.
Informing a trusted person about your plans to leave in case you need emergency support.

Conclusion

Realizing that you’re in a relationship with a narcissist who lies and cheats is painful, but what you do next will determine your future happiness and well-being.

You have choices:

Stay in denial and continue suffering.
Forgive without accountability and endure more betrayal.
Prioritize yourself, set boundaries, and break free.

Leaving is not easy, but neither is staying in a toxic cycle. You deserve honesty, respect, and love. Choosing yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary.

If you’re struggling, reach out to a professional who can help guide you through this process. You are not alone, and you have the strength to reclaim your life.

What should you do when you realise you are in a relationship with a narcissist who continues to lie and cheat?