Introduction
Narcissistic or other toxic relationships can be hard to spot immediately. Often in hindsight we recognise the red flags as more of them appear. Whether starting, or in the middle of a relationship, whether it is a romantic relationship, has family ties, friends, or even in a work setting, it can be difficult to recognise emotional harm as it unfolds. Manipulation often starts subtly, slowly undermining your confidence and boundaries. This Relationships Red Flags Checklist will help you identify red flags in behaviour, communication, and emotional patterns. Use this guide to clarify and validate your suspicions. Your emotional and psychological wellbeing is important. Read on…
Communication Red Flags
- Avoids honest conversations or becomes defensive when challenged
- Frequently contradicts themselves, causing confusion or self-doubt
- Shifts blame to avoid accountability
- Denies previous statements or commitments
- Makes you feel as though you’re walking on eggshells
Emotional Red Flags
- Excessive flattery or affection early on (love bombing), followed by withdrawal
- A constant feeling that something’s “not quite right”
- Dismisses or minimises your emotions
- Uses guilt to influence your behaviour
- Leaves you feeling anxious, emotionally drained, or confused
Psychological Red Flags
- Engages in gaslighting—making you doubt your memories or perceptions
- Uses passive-aggressive or coercive tactics to control the narrative
- Switches between charm and punishment to confuse you
- Resents your independence or growth
- Isolates you from your support system (friends, family, community)
Respect & Boundary Red Flags
- Dismisses your need for personal space or autonomy
- Acts as if entitled to your time, body, or emotional labour
- Disguises criticism as “just joking” or “being honest”
- Mocks or downplays your boundaries and beliefs
- Makes you feel “too sensitive” for having limits
Behavioural Red Flags
- History of unstable or chaotic relationships
- Patterns of dishonesty, addiction, or uncontrolled anger
- Displays little or no empathy for your experiences
- Holds you to standards they refuse to meet themselves
- Refuses to take responsibility for hurtful behaviour
✅ Self-Reflection Questions
- Do I feel emotionally and physically safe in this relationship?
- Can I express myself honestly without fear of retaliation?
- Does this relationship support my growth and values?
- Am I compromising who I am in order to maintain peace?
Conclusion
Recognising red flags isn’t about placing blame, it’s about confirming and affirming your right to emotional and psychological safety. If these signs feel familiar, trust your instincts. You have a right to question, set healthy boundaries, and walk away from what harms you. You do not need permission to make decisions for what is right for you.
While some red flags may be manageable. If you find that there are quite a few that you recognise and experience, it may be time to reconsider the relationshiop dynamics. You deserve relationships built on mutual respect, care, and integrity. Awareness is the beginning of empowerment.